“- Camille Brewster: You sure you never heard of me? Camille Brewster?
- Ferdinand Jones: No.
- Camille Brewster: You must have a cheap radio.”
Joan Davis - Camille Brewster
Lou Costello - Ferdinand Jones

“- Young Roland: You might fuck around and say some shit that'll get you shot.
- Young Mike: Shot?
- Young Roland: Shot? Ya know? Guns? Bang-bang? This nigga don't know nothin'!”
Trent Cameron - Young Roland
Sean Nelson - Young Mike

“- Congresswoman Libby Hauser: You have the full support of the Sunshine State!
- Paulette: Yay for Ohio!”
Dana Ivey - Congresswoman Libby Hauser
Jennifer Coolidge - Paulette

“- Morgan: What am I supposed to do?
- Dalton: There's always barber college.”
Terry Funk - Morgan
Patrick Swayze - Dalton

This place has a sign hanging over the urinal that says “Don't eat the big white mint”.
Sam Elliott - Wade Garrett