- Artemus Gordon: She's a breath of fresh ass.
- James West: Pardon me?
- Artemus Gordon: What?
- James West: You said "ass".
- Artemus Gordon: No, I didn't. I said "It's nice having her on board, she's a breast of fresh air".
- James West: Let's just get some shut ass.

Kevin Kline - Artemus Gordon
Will Smith - James West

“- Karl: Pretty little thing, in her way, wasn't she?
- Doctor Pretorius: I hope her bones are firm.”

Dwight Frye - Karl
Ernest Thesiger - Doctor Pretorius

“- Julietta the Cigar Girl: Would you like to check my figures?
- James Bond: Oh, I'm sure they're perfectly rounded.”
Maria Grazia Cucinotta - Cigar Girl
Pierce Brosnan - James Bond

“- Hector Cyr: Law enforcement is very dangerous work isn't it? And... you have such big, wonderful boobs.
- Deputy Sharon Gare: Ha! Thank you!”

Oliver Platt - Hector Cyr
Meredith Salenger - Deputy Sharon Gare

“I got a feeling that behind those jeans is something wonderful just waiting to get out.”
Burt Reynolds - Jack Horner