- Kirk Lazarus: It's simple as pie man: you plant your feet on the ground, you look her square in the eyes you say "Hey! baby, you and me's goin' on a date, that's the end of the story". What's her name?
- Alpa Chino - Hot LZ: ... Lance.
- Kirk Lazarus: You say 'Listenhere, Lance'... Lance? What the fuck did I just hear? Lance?
Robert Downey Jr. - Kirk Lazarus
Brandon T. Jackson - Alpa Chino - Hot LZ

“- Kevin Dolenz: How come you never ask me if I want a date?
- Naomi: I thought you were gay!”
Andrew McCarthy - Kevin Dolenz
Anna Maria Horsford - Naomi

“- Edward D. Wood, Jr.: I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime, grab some dinner, maybe?
- Vampira: You mean a date? I thought you were a fag.
- Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, no, I'm just a transvestite.”
Johnny Depp - Ed Wood
Lisa Marie - Vampira

“- Paula Mann: Sharon, baby, do you think you should go out with a man? I mean... so soon after your ordeal and all?
- Sharon Winters: So, I was raped. It happended six week ago. What do you expect me to do? Observe a year of mouring?
- Paula Mann: Baby, please I didn't mean to bug you or make you mad.”
Sharon Carr - Paula Mann
Stacey Walker - Sharon Winters

“Speaking of shoes. You know what I was thinking I'm... You know I, I would like to have a... some shoes next to my shoes.”

Robert De Niro - Detective Eddie Flemming