“- Rusty: Let me guess, a Jehovah's Witness?
- Walt Koontz: I was wondering, uh, if I could pay you for singing lessons?
- Rusty: Oh hahaha, oh, honey, I'd rather suck Hitler's dead dick.
- Walt Koontz: I bet you already did!”
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Rusty
Robert De Niro - Walt Koontz

“- Sally Jackson: I've always dreamed of being a big hit singer.
- Dorian Montier: Oh, can you sing?
- Sally Jackson: No, that's why they call them dreams.”
Drew Barrymore - Sally Jackson
Luke Wilson - Dorian Montier

“Under British law, singing badly is not a crime.”
Oscar James - Miguel

“- Rhonda Truitt: How long can they keep this up?
- Chelsea Farmer: Forever. They have a fight song with the word cock in it.”

Marieh Delfino - Rhonda Truitt
Lena Cardwell - Chelsea Farmer

“- Will: Is there anything she can't do?
- Matt: She can't sing. Not a note. Sounds like a coyote in a trash compactor.”

A.J. Buckley - Will
Derek Hamilton - Matt