“- Earl Bassett: Dammit, Valentine! You never go for any girl unless she fits that stupid list of yours from top to bottom.
- Valentine McKee: Well, sure.
- Earl Bassett: Yeah, and it's dumber than my hind end! Like that Bobbie Lynn Dexter.
- Valentine McKee: Tammy Lynn Baxter!”
Fred Ward - Earl Bassett
Kevin Bacon - Valentine McKee

“- Amelia Warren: I just keep ingesting these poisonous men until I make myself sick.
- Viktor Navorski: You're not sick, Amelia, no. You're a little far-sighted.”
Catherine Zeta-Jones - Amelia Warren
Tom Hanks - Viktor Navorski

“- Wang Ta: This is not China. This is a different world. And here a man has the right to choose his own wife.
- Wang Chi-Yang: And here he also has the right to get divorced every year and pick a new one.”
James Shigeta - Wang Ta
Benson Fong - Wang Chi-Yang

“Kate, you should choose. What's it gonna be? Mr. Action Figure Hero Guy? Or brains, and sensitivity, and a lot of other things I could name. So in other words: me or that guy?”
Billy Bob Thornton - Terry Collins

“There's something deeply ingrained in human biology: women prefer bad over weak and indecisive... and unemployed.”
Mackenzie Astin - Jimmy