“Too late dude, she's with me right now. She says that my peepee's way bigger than yours. And that's if I fold it in half.”

Rob Schneider - Jessica

“- Susan Vance: You're angry, aren't you?
- David Huxley: Yes, I am!
- Susan Vance: Mm-hmm. The love impulse in man frequently reveals itself in terms of conflict.”

Katharine Hepburn - Susan Vance
Cary Grant - David Huxley

“There are three things a man must do alone: be born, die and, well, we all know the other one.”

John Leguizamo - Cholo

“Real men don't play bridge.”

Russell Crowe - Max Skinner

“- Grace: When are you coming home?
- Anthony Adams: I can't come home, Grace, I'm an adult.”
Shea Fowler - Grace
Luke Wilson - Anthony Adams