“- Jeannie Ryan: I know who the father is.
- Lafayette aka Hud: You know that, you know a lot. If the baby comes out all white and squishy-like, crying his ass off, then we know Woof is definitely the daddy. But if he comes out all beautiful and chocolate brown, that's mine!”
Annie Golden - Jeannie Ryan
Dorsey Wright - Lafayette aka Hud

“- Mollie: I was artificially inseminated.
- James: Are you a lesbo?”
Kirstie Alley - Mollie
John Travolta - James

“Oh my God, a gay black republican. Now I've seen everything!”

Andre Braugher - Flip

“You didn't get pregnant with your legs closed!”

Jill Parker-Jones - Lamaze Instructor

“No wonder you're a nervous wreck. You're not going crazy. You're just becoming a mother.”

Todd Allen - Jim Morar