“- Jeannie Ryan: I know who the father is.
- Lafayette aka Hud: You know that, you know a lot. If the baby comes out all white and squishy-like, crying his ass off, then we know Woof is definitely the daddy. But if he comes out all beautiful and chocolate brown, that's mine!”
Annie Golden - Jeannie Ryan
Dorsey Wright - Lafayette aka Hud

“- Mollie: I was artificially inseminated.
- James: Are you a lesbo?”
Kirstie Alley - Mollie
John Travolta - James

“Oh my God, a gay black republican. Now I've seen everything!”

Andre Braugher - Flip

“- New Mother: Is it a boy or a girl?
- Obstretrician: Now I think it's a bit early to startimposing roles on it, don't you?”
Graham Arthur Chapman - Obstretrician

“- Rosie Morales: I'm pregnant… Well aren't you gonna say anything?
- Bob Morales: What's there to say? It's not my first. Or my last.”
Elizabeth Peña - Rosie Morales
Esai Morales - Bob Morales