“- Princess Aouda: Have there been any women in his life?
- Passepartout: I assume he had a mother, but I am not certain.”

Shirley MacLaine - Princess Aouda
Cantinflas - Passepartout

“- Madison Bell: It's nice to finally meet your mother.
- Ben Cronin: What do you mean finally? You just met me.”
Erika Christensen - Madison Bell
Jesse Bradford - Ben Cronin

“Excuse me, but can I have my mom back?”
Tracey Fairaway - Ellen

“- Heather Aubrey: So, are you my mom's boyfriend?
- Billy Chapel: I'm not sure.
- Heather Aubrey: But you've slept with her.”
Jena Malone - Heather Aubrey
Kevin Costner - Billy Chapel

“- Mrs. Porter: I'm a burden on you.
- Bill Porter: Well, now we're even.”
Helen Mirren - Mrs. Porter
William H. Macy - Bill Porter