“- The Dog Owner: I need help with my dog.
- The Dogwalker: I can see that. I would love to be the one to help you with your dog.
- The Dog Owner: What's your technique?
- The Dogwalker: I put them on a leash and walk them.”
Marisa Tomei - The Dog Owner
Daniel Radcliffe - The Dogwalker

- Nun: Let me get this straight: you don't believe in God because of "Alice in Wonderland"?
- Loki: No, "Through the Looking Glass".
Betty Aberlin - Nun
Matt Damon - Loki

“- Michael: You read the Count of Monte Cristo lately?
- Shakes: I dunno, 10 years ago.
- Michael: I read a little bit every night. I read words like revenge, sweet, lasting revenge.”
Brad Pitt - Michael
Jason Patric - Shakes

“- The Old Man Parker: What is the name of the Lone Ranger's nephew's horse?
- Mother Parker: Ah... Victor! His name is Victor.
- The Old Man Parker: How the hell did you know that?
- Mother Parker: Everybody knows that!”
Darren McGavin - The Old Man Parker
Melinda Dillon - Mother Parker

- Professor Edward Alcott: I'm sure if she were alive, Betty Friedan would applaud your little epiphany.
- Dora Diamond: Oh really? Well, if Kafka was still alive he'd say "Stop misinterpreting my novels, you pretentious bonehead!"
Greg Kinnear - Prof. Edward Alcott
Mena Suvari - Dora Diamond