“- Georgey Sanderson: [reading an adult magazine] Dad, what's a rack?
- Peter Sanderson: It's a country.”
Angus T. Jones - Georgey Sanderson
Steve Martin - Peter Sanderson

“- Jeff: Hi, I’m Jeff... I have a bush too. It's not grey.
- Alex: Hey!
- Jeff: What?
- Alex: My bush isn't really grey.
- Jeff: Well, not according to my mom.”
Nick Swardson - Jeff
Allen Covert - Alex

“- Female Highway Patrol Officer: Looks like we found something.
- Big John: What's that?
- Female Highway Patrol Officer: A concealed weapon.”

Leilani Sarelle - Female Highway Patrol Officer
Fred Thompson - Big John

“I loved your piece on the clitoris! I showed it to my mother!”
Daphne Zuniga - Margie Epstein

“It was, quite simply, the worst night of my life, my embarrassment compounded by the fact that Victor had now slept with two out of the three members of my family.”
Sir Michael Caine - Matthew Hollis