“- The Old Man Parker: Four minutes. Time me.
- Ralphie as an Adult: [narrating] Actually the Old Man loved it. He had always pictured himself in the pits of the Indianapolis Speedway in the 500. My old man's spare tires were actually only tires in the academic sense. They were round, they had once been made of rubber.”

Darren McGavin - The Old Man Parker
Jean Shepherd - Ralphie as an Adult

“- Shelly Stewart: I bought the car for you! It was only 300 grand! It was a gift!
- Morton Cushman: With my money you bought it! I bought me the gift!
- Shelly Stewart: Jesus, Morty, all I want is a lifestyle, y'know - with some ambiance and some classic eternal good taste!”

Sarah Jessica Parker - Shelly Stewart
Dan Hedaya - Morton Cushman

“- Day-Day: I gotta get this money by tomorrow.
- Roach: You could sell your Beemer.
- Day Day: I can do what?
- Roach: Sell your car.
- Day-Day: Sell your mama's car! I'm not sellin' my car for that.”
Mike Epps - Day-Day
Justin Pierce - Roach

“It's a beautiful thing, alimony. You lose a husband, you get a car. Think it'll help me pick up dudes?”

Diana Scarwid - Jody

“- Tom Beck: Mind me asking how much one of these costs?
- Lloyd Gallagher: No.
- Tom Beck: How much?
- Lloyd Gallagher: I don't know.
- Tom Beck: You don't know? What did you do, steal it?
- Lloyd Gallagher: Yeah.”

Michael Nouri - Tom Beck
Kyle MacLachlan - Lloyd Gallagher