“- Brucey Madison: You thinking about moving out here, Pop?
- Oscar Madison: To where? Santa Yosinta-Malienta-Poliguenta? I'm not gonna learn another language just to find my way home at night.”
Jonathan Silverman - Brucey Madison
Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison

“- Sallah: Indy, you have no time. If you still want the ark, it is being loaded onto a truck for Cairo.
- Indiana Jones: Truck? What truck?”
John Rhys-Davies - Sallah
Harrison Ford - Indiana Jones

“A teacher once told me I was a mistress of self-reinvention. I wasn't really sure what it meant at the time. But since moving here, I've come to understand it. Ardsley-on-Hudson is boring and routine. It's a fucking baby factory. I wanna start my life over again.”
Haley Bennett - Megan

“- Kirby: Dad are we really going to New York City?
- Rosco Bigger - Fang: That's why they call them mobile homes, son, 'cause they're mobile.”
Cody McMains - Kirby
Tom Arnold - Rosco Bigger - Fang

“- Teresa Barzak: Why didn't you take it to your place?
- Det. Barzak: 'Cause I'm not settled in yet.
- Teresa Barzak: It's only been two years!
- Det. Barzak: I'm slow to adjust to psychological upheaval.”

Valerie Bertinelli - Teresa Barzak
Robert Carradine - Det. Barzak