“- Ronald Miller: Here is the primate example. You raise a doll-chopping homicidal maniac, and what do you do every time you see him? You give him money. Great!
- Chuckie Miller: Chillin!
- David Miller: Shut up, Chuck!
- Chuckie Miller: I was talking to Ma!
- Rons Mom: Shut up, Chuck!”
Patrick Dempsey - Ronald Miller
Seth Green - Chuckie Miller
Dennis Dugan - David Miller
Cloyce Morrow - Judy Miller

“Do you know how much it costs to breed you, you big moron? To train you? To feed you? What good is this man now? He's got no depth perception! All he can do is to walk point and take the first hit!”

Jason Isaacs - Colonel Mekum

“What, you don't think I'd go into combat with loose change in my pocket, do you?”
Keenan Wynn - Col. 'Bat' Guano

“You're not being rude, dear, you're just being yourself.”

Claudette Colbert - Gerry Jeffers

“- Andrew Kempster: What kind of dumb name is Mimi Siku?
- Jan Kempster: Don't be rude. He probably thinks Andrew is a dumb name.
- Andrew Kempster: So do I.”
Frankie J. Galasso - Andrew Kempster
Valerie Mahaffey - Jan Kempster