“- Clark Griswold: She wrapped up her damn cat!
- Ellen Griswold: Well, take it to the kitchen and open it up.
- Clark Griswold: Then we'll have a cat running around the house.”

Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold

“- Theo: Those stupid siamese glass cats you get us every year for Christmas! I don't want anymore siamese glass cats!
- Dewey Cox: The siamese cat is a symbol of nobility in Ancient Egypt.
- Sam: Fuck nobility!
- Dave: Fuck Ancient Egypt!
- Theo: Fuck cats!”
Chris Parnell - Theo
John C. Reilly - Dewey Cox
Tim Meadows - Sam
Matt Besser - Dave

“- Aunt Edna: You're the ones who sent me the fruitcake for Christmas. It made me so sick!
- Ellen Griswold: Oh, we're sorry. We thought you enjoyed fruitcake.
- Aunt Edna: Do you enjoy throwing up every five minutes Claude?”
Imogene Coca - Aunt Edna
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold

How about these stupid letters from kids to Santa at the North Pole: "Dear Santa, Can you send me a bike and a slinky?" No! Your father's been laid off!
Sinbad - Myron Larabee

“We're not just doing this for us. We're doing it for the kids. For every kid who ever sat on Santa's lap. For every little girl who left cookies and milk for Santa on Christmas night. For every little boy who opens a package Christmas morning and finds clothes instead of toys. It breaks my heart.”
Jim Belushi - Mall Santa