“- Murph: Who let the baby into the sixth grade? What's in your bag? Your diapers?
- Junior Healy: No, my lunch, you pin-head.”

Eric Edwards - Murph
Michael Oliver - Junior Healy

“- Drum Eatenton: Ouiser you look like hammered shit.
- Ouiser Boudreaux: Don't you talk to me like that!
- Drum Eatenton: Oh, I'm sorry you look like regular shit.”
Tom Skerritt - Drum Eatenton
Shirley MacLaine - Ouiser Boudreaux

“- Madame Therese De Farge: Do you know who I am?
- Miss Pross: You might - from your appearance - be the wife of Lucifer.”

Blanche Yurka - Madame Therese De Farge
Edna May Oliver - Miss Pross

“- John Milner: It's the little twerp!
- Carol: Don't little twerp me, John, I've grown.
- John Milner: A little bit.”
Paul Le Mat - John Milner
Mackenzie Phillips - Carol

“There's a name for you ladies, but it isn't used in high society... outside of a kennel.”
Joan Crawford - Crystal Allen