“- Alan Tyler: He's afraid of tuna-fish sandwiches.
- Claire Tyler: Mercury levels in the tuna-fish sandwiches.”
Ed Begley Jr. - Alan Tyler
Mel Harris - Claire Tyler

“- Lee: These men are Triads. The most deadly gang in China.
- Carter: You think they scare me? I'm from Los Angeles, man. We invented gangs!”
Jackie Chan - Lee
Chris Tucker - Carter

- Private Frost: Man, I'm telling you, I got a bad feeling about this drop.
- Private Crowe: You always say that, Frost. You always say, "I got a bad feeling about this drop".
- Private Frost: Okay, okay. When we get back without you, I'll call your folks.
Ricco Ross - Private Frost
Tip Tipping - Private Crowe

- Lisa "One Night" Standing: This tell us how much radiation we're getting?
- Alan "Hippy" Carnes: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. I'm not going near no radiation. No way.
- Catfish De Vries: Aw Hippy, you pussy.
- Alan "Hippy" Carnes: Yeah, what good is the money, six months later your dick drops off?
Kimberly Scott - Lisa 'One Night' Standing
Todd Graff - Alan 'Hippy' Carnes
Leo Burmester - Catfish De Vries

“- Shrek: You can't tell me you're afraid of heights?
- Donkey: No, I'm just uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava!”
Mike Myers - Shrek
Eddie Murphy - Donkey