“- Kevin McCallister: Everyone in this family hates me!
- Kate McCallister: Then you should ask Santa for the new family.
- Kevin McCallister: I don't want another family, I don't want any family. Familes suck!”
Macaulay Culkin - Kevin McCallister
Catherine O'Hara - Kate McCallister

“- Kim: Why can't you do it?
- Jim: Because my father keeps the damn room locked. We need Edward to get us in.
- Kim: Well can't you just take the key when he's sleeping or something?
- Jim: You don't understand. The only thing that guy hangs onto tighter is his dick.”
Winona Ryder - Kim
Anthony Michael Hall - Jim

“- Abby: He gave me a little pearl-handled .38 for our first anniversary.
- Ray: Uh-huh.
- Abby: Figured I'd better leave before I used it on him. I don't know how you can stand him.
- Ray: Well, I'm only an employee, I'm not married to him.”
Frances McDormand - Abby
John Getz - Ray

“- Nick: I don't know how our marriage lasted.
- Deborah: Mutual death wish.”
Woody Allen - Nick
Bette Midler - Deborah

“You're going to have plenty of reasons to hate me. I'm going to show you cards and spades and lying for the next 50 years.”

Fredric March - Wally Cook