“- Henry Desalvo: We have a die-hard situation developing in the kitchen.
- Leonard Ferroni: What's happening?
- Henry Desalvo: Well, either he's going to whack 'em with a rolling pin or bake him a cake.”
Dennis Farina - Henry Desalvo
Jack Kehler - Leonard Ferroni

“I know it's weird at first. But now, this is much more home to me than home. Like the lost boys in Peter Pan, right? Except we are the lost girls, right? Lost and Delirious.”

Jessica Paré - Victoria 'Tori' Moller

“- Roxanne: Where would I stay?
- Tripper: My place, what do you think?
- Roxanne: Is it big enough?
- Tripper: It's got a double bed. What's the matter with you, haven't you ever lived with anybody before?
- Roxanne: No. Have you?
- Tripper: Pets, you know, a dog, a fish. No, I haven't. I've never asked anybody before.”

Kate Lynch - Roxanne
Bill Murray - Tripper

“- Graham: Long distance relationships can work, you know.
- Amanda: Really? I can't make one work when I live in the same house with someone.”
Jude Law - Graham
Cameron Diaz - Amanda

“You know, the finest line a man will walk is between success at work and success at home.”
John Candy