“- Alex: Dude, your bed is a car.
- Jeff: Yeah, but it’s a fucking sweet car!”
Allen Covert - Alex

“- Jeff: What's up Douche Bigalow?
- Alex: Hey Speed Racer. What'd you do, valet your bed?
- Jeff: No, but I'll self park it in your ass.”
Nick Swardson - Jeff

“- Secretary Cleary: Are you okay in here?
- Jeremy Grey: I was just having a baddream.”

Christopher Walken - Secretary Cleary
Vince Vaughn - Jeremy Grey

“Three people in bed are one too many for me.”
Robert De Niro - Stanley Everett Cox

“l stayed at the Hartford one time. You should see the rooms. All satin and velvet. And the bed... royal blue, trimmed in lace clean as snow. Hard to believe a room like that don't change your life. But it don't. The bed may be magic, but the mirror isn't. Still wake up the same old Susie.”
Michelle Pfeiffer - Susie Diamond