“- Delgardo: Show me no mercy, give me no bail! I'm ready and willing to go to jail!
- Baxter: I'm not going to send you to jail for two reasons: first, I refuse to make a martyr of you, and second, it is still being redecorated.”
Billy Connolly - Delgado
Sir Michael Caine - Baxter

“I have a client in jail for a busted tail light and I can't get him out.”
Al Pacino - Arthur Kirkland

“Ladies and gentlemen, you're being detained against your will, and for that I apologize. It is not our intention in any way to harm you, you will not be detained one minute longer than is necessary for us to complete our mission.”
Ed Harris - General Francis X. Hummel

“- The Great Edgar: For my next experiment, I will saw the little maharaja in half.
- Charlie: I'm a victim of sawcumstances.”
Edgar Bergen - The Great Edgar
Charlie McCarthy - Charlie

“Funny how I meet you at all my homicides.”

Sam Levene - Police Lt. Abrams