“- Madge: What do you do when you face a difficult decision?
- Babul: I don’t believe there is such a thing. Throw a coin in the air and we always know what side we want it to land on.”
Celia Imrie - Madge Hardcastle
Rajesh Tailang - Babul

“- Tony: We've put our heads together, and we've decided we're gonna rip off the Arab, on the road, during the car race.
- Don Don Canneloni: Oh, you put your heads together, huh? It must've sounded like a bowling alley.”
Alex Rocco - Tony
Charles Nelson Reilly - Don Don Canneloni

“- World Security Council: Director Fury, the council has made a decision.
- Nick Fury: I recognise the council has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it.”
Powers Boothe - World Security Council
Samuel L. Jackson - Nick Fury

“You better wise up, 'cause if I grow and you stay as stupid as you are, we're gonna have big problems, Ray!”
Tracey Ullman - Frenchy

- Johnson: You know what your problem is, Wilson? You need to listen for the pop.
- Wilson: Whoa, whoa. What's "the pop", Johnson?
- Johnson: That's the sound you're gonna make when your head comes out of your ass for the first time.
Russell Richardson - Pvt. Johnson
Shea Whigham - Pvt. Wilson