“- Michael Bolton: At least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
- Samir: You know, there's nothing wrong with that name.
- Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about twelve years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.”
David Herman - Michael Bolton
Ajay Naidu - Samir

“- Evan: [examining the fake ID] Hawaii. All right, that's good. That's hard to trace, I guess. Wait... you changed your name to... McLovin?
- Fogell: Yeah.
- Evan: McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?”
Michael Cera - Evan
Christopher Mintz-Plasse - Fogell

“Dionne and I were both named after famous singers of the past, who now do infomercials.”
Alicia Silverstone - Cher

“You ain't the future of shit, bitch. You're just David fuckin' Porter.”

Eminem - Jimmy 'B-Rabbit' Smith

“A teacher educates our children and they become model citizens, the clergymen preaches we find spiritually, my bank gives loans and homes get built but now there's a new darker influence in Cincinnati and we cannot hide from this. Decent people are being corrupted.”

James Cromwell - Charles Keating