“God was showing off when he made you.”

Ben Stiller - Rabbi Jake Schram

“Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is.”
Frank Oz - Yoda

“- Gerry Boyle: I don't want to see it. Babies all look the same. The only time a baby doesn't look like every other baby is when it's a really ugly baby. So unless you're about to show me a photo of a really ugly baby then I don't want to see it.
- FBI agent Wendell Everett: That's pretty fucking rude.
- Gerry Boyle: Maybe it is maybe it isn't.”
Brendan Gleeson - Gerry Boyle
Don Cheadle - FBI Agent Wendell Everett

“No one could understand how Mrs. Lisbon and Mr. Lisbon, our mathteacher, could produce such beautiful creatures.”
Giovanni Ribisi - Narrator

“- Tulip: Look at the baby!
- Junior: No! Just a brief exposure to baby cuteness can ruin your life!
- [both look at the baby]
- Tulip, Junior: Awwww!”
Katie Crown - Tulip
Andy Samberg - Junior