- Old Rose: [about Jack Dawson drawing her naked] My heart was pounding the whole time. It was the most erotic moment of my life. Up until then, at least.
- Lewis Bodine: So what happened next?
- Old Rose: You mean, did we "do it"? Sorry to disappoint you Mr. Bodine, but Jack was very professional.
Gloria Stuart - Old Rose
Lewis Abernathy - Lewis Bodine

“- Ripley: Wanna get me some clothes, or should I just go like this?
- Clemens: Given the nature of our indigenous population, I would suggest clothes. None of them have seen a woman in years. Neither have I, for that matter.”

Sigourney Weaver - Ripley
Charles Dance - Clemens

“- Eli Cross: You'll get a belly laugh, Sam!
- Sam: What do you mean? What are you talking about? They'll break their hearts over it!
- Eli Cross: No no no, there won't be a dry seat in the house!”

Peter O'Toole - Eli Cross
Allen Garfield - Sam

“- Homer Simpson: [blundering into a movie's casting session] Hello, can I have change for a dollar? Also, can I have a dollar?
- Comic Book Guy: You. Are. Acceptable!
- Homer Simpson: Great, would you like to see me naked?
- Hollywood Casting Lady: Oh, there's no nudity in this movie.
- Homer Simpson: What movie?”
Dan Castellaneta - Homer Simpson
Hank Azaria - Comic Book Guy

“- Geoffrey Shurlock: Is there any improper suggestion of nudity in this, uh, murder in the shower scene?
- Alfred Hitchcock: She won't be nude, she'll be wearing a shower cap.”
Kurtwood Smith - Geoffrey Shurlock
Philip Anthony Hopkins - Alfred Hitchcock