“Ya?... Hi Joan. How are you doin?... Ahh, it's gotta be Kevin's... Victor? How could it be Victor's? Thought he got a vasectomy... It didn't take?”

Michael Keaton - Jack

“Is this America's angriest hedge fund?”

Ryan Gosling - Jared Vennett

“We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.”
Brad Pitt - Tyler Durden

“I'm angry. I'm very angry, Ralph. You know, you can ball my wife if she wants you to. You can lounge around here on her sofa, in her ex-husband's dead-tech, post-modernistic bullshit house if you want to. But you do not get to watch my fucking television set!”
Al Pacino - Lt. Vincent Hanna

- Doug Butabi: [yelling at his dad] Are you seeing planes? Is your name Tattoo? Because I swear to God, you're living on "Fantasy Island".
- Steve Butabi: Man, that was a sweet show!
- Doug Butabi: Yeah it was, wasn't it?
Chris Kattan - Doug Butabi
Will Ferrell - Steve Butabi