“Medical books aren't written about losers!”
Laurence Fishburne - Thrax

“- Leah: Wow, this is huge.
- Osmosis Jones: Don't be all impressed, 'cause 99% of that is just sugar you know.
- Leah: Yeah, and 99% of you is just stupid.
- Osmosis Jones: Ooh, like I haven't heard that one before.”
Brandy Norwood - Leah
Chris Rock - Osmosis Jones

Good evening, citizens of Frank. In the past few weeks of the campaign, my opponent has thrown around a lot of fancy words to try to confuse the issues. Words like "exercise", "low-fat", and "diet" - words designed to scare us into changing what has worked for so many years. Well, I say let's stay the course. Remember, a fat Frank is a happy Frank.
William Shatner - Mayor Phlegmming

“I always had a feeling that healing-any-injury thing was bullshit.”
Garry Shandling - Harold Anderson

“GSW: that's what the hospitals call it: gunshot wound. Doctor has to report it to the police. That makes it hard for guys in my line to get what I call, quality health care.”
Mel Gibson - Porter