“What family would want a daughter-in-law who can run around kicking football all day but can't make round chapatis?”
Shaheen Khan - Mrs. Bhamra

“Marchino Schisa-So... how hot was Aunt Patrizia today? Buck naked. On a scale of one to a hundred?
Fabietto Schisa-A billion.
Marchino Schisa-If you had to choose between Maradona coming to Napoli and screwing Aunt Patrizia... which would you choose?
Fabietto Schisa-Maradona.”
Filippo Scotti - Fabietto Schisa
Marlon Joubert - Marchino Schisa

“What is a brunette standing between two blondes? An interpreter.”
Madonna - Sarah Jennings

“- Lucas: Just give me one chance. One play.
- Coach: Get out of here, I said. Get off of the field.
- Lucas: I'll make you a deal. You have nothing to lose. They're whipping your ass, anyway.
- Coach: Listen to me...
- Lucas: Put me in, I'll never come back, I swear. Just let me play today. You have nothing to lose, just let me in.”

Corey Haim - Lucas
Guy Boyd - Coach

“- Maggie: You could have gotten killed.
- Lucas: Did we win?
- Maggie: No way.
- Lucas: Boy. They sure were big.
- Maggie: I don't want you ever playing football again.”

Kerri Green - Maggie
Corey Haim - Lucas