- Cal Naughton Jr.: Hey, when you have the stereo and TV on, how do you change the volume on the stereo?
- Ricky Bobby: "If you have the stereo on" Why do you have the stereo on while you're watchingTV?
- Cal Naughton Jr.: 'Cause I like to party.
John C. Reilly - Cal Naughton Jr.
Will Ferrell - Ricky Bobby

“- Grandfather Disguisey: When you were on the roof, did you hear something like this?
[Slaps Pistachio]
- Pistachio Disguisey: Yes exactly that! But without the pain on my face. We have a clue!”
Harold Gould - Grandfather Disguisey
Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey

“A shovel just makes too goddamned much racket.”
J. T. Walsh - Charles Bushman

“- Anna Harrison: How come Isabel screams during sex?
- Jackie Harrison: How do you know she screams during sex?
- Anna Harrison: I live in the same country.”
Jena Malone - Anna Harrison
Susan Sarandon - Jackie Harrison

“You're slamming my door like some kind of gorilla on a football field!”
Cuba Gooding Jr. - Tre Styles