“- President Andrew Shepherd: That's a little tight, Luce.
- Lucy Shepherd: It's supposed to be tight. It's supposed to make you look regal.
- President Andrew Shepherd: [sarcastically, jokingly] Is it supposed to cut off the blood flow to my face?”

Michael Douglas - President Andrew Shepherd
Shawna Waldron - Lucy Shepherd

“I don't wear pants at my house, I'm not wearing them in your house. Sorry.”

David Spade - Marcus Higgins

“- Marquis Robert de la Cheyniest: Corneille! Put an end to this farce!
- Corneille, le majordome: Which one, Your Lordship?”
Marcel Dalio - Marquis Robert de la Cheyniest
Eddy Debray - Corneille, le majordome

“- Clifford Muckle - Boy in Bank: Mommy, doesn't that man have a funny nose?
- Mrs. Muckle - Mother in Bank: You mustn't make fun of the gentleman, Clifford. You'd like to have a nose like that full of nickels, wouldn't you?”

Bobby Larson - Clifford Muckle - Boy in Bank
Jan Duggan - Mrs. Muckle - Mother in Bank

- Michael "Mike" Ward: What's the use of talking to you? You think everything's a joke.
- Martin: It is. If it weren't, life wouldn't be worth living.
John McGuire - Michael "Mike" Ward
Cliff Clark - Martin