“- Michael: Maybe he's some animal that wasn't supposed to live; kind of like those rabbits we saw. He could be a monkey or an orangutan.
- Elliott: A bald monkey?
- Gertie: Is he a pig? He sure eats like one.”

Robert MacNaughton - Michael
Henry Thomas - Elliott
Drew Barrymore - Gertie

“- Eckle: That's our planet after the attack of the Humaniacs. They're gonna eat our brains for dinner!
- Lem: Everybody, please, that's ridiculous.
- Skiff: Totally ridiculous! Brains for dinner? Come on! Brains are breakfast with cereal and milk. Dinner is organs and eyeballs.”
Freddie Benedict - Eckle
Justin Long - Lem

“- Private Hudson: Maybe it's like an ant-hive?
- Private Vasquez: Bees, man. Bees have hives!”

Bill Paxton - Private Hudson
Jenette Goldstein - Private Vasquez

“- Deputy Pete Willis: They're not aliens, they're spiders mutated by contaminated waste!
- Harlan Griffith: That's probably a more logical explanation!”
Rick Overton - Deputy Pete Willis
Doug E. Doug - Harlan Griffith

“- Harlan Griffith: There's no way you're telling me that thing back there is from Earth!
- Chris McCormick: All right! They're spiders from Mars! You happy?
- Harlan Griffith: No.”
Doug E. Doug - Harlan Griffith
David Arquette - Chris McCormick