- Mackenzie Siler: When was the last time you tweezed?
- Laney Boggs: What?
- Mackenzie Siler: I mean your eyebrows.
- Laney Boggs: Never, why?
- Mackenzie Siler: Ever watch "Sesame Street"?
- Laney Boggs: Yeah.
- Mackenzie Siler: You know Bert?
Anna Paquin - Mackenzie Siler
Rachael Leigh Cook - Laney Boggs

“- Fuzzy: Why don't you send your face to Washington and have it copyrighted?
- Mona Marshall: It is copyrighted. For years, my face has been on the sidewalk, in front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre.
- Fuzzy: Well why don't you leave it there?”

Ted Healy - Fuzzy
Lola Lane - Mona Marshall

“- Max: Girl, what are you doing?
- Jennifer Caulfield: WatchingTV.
- Max: I can see that. Why don't you read a book? You watch too much damn TV.
- Jennifer Caulfield: Research.
- Max: Right. You're gonna be a TV star.
- Jennifer Caulfield: Wait and see.”
Laurence Fishburne - Max
Penelope Sudrow - Jennifer

“- Jeff Dunham: The White House is where the most powerful man in the free world lives.
- Walter: Oprah?”
Jeff Dunham - Himself
Jeff Dunham - Walter

“Suzanne used to say that you're not really anybody in America unless you're on TV. 'Cause what's the point of doing anything worthwhile if there's nobody watching?”
Alison Folland - Lydia Mertz