“- Chloe: What do you know about us? We have green skin, wear pointy hats and got burned to the stake at Salem!
- Kaulder: Salem was wrong, those women were innocent!”
Rose Leslie - Chloe
Vin Diesel - Kaulder

“I'm your Hairy Dogfather... Oh! I mean, your Fairy Godmother.”

Helena Bonham Carter - Fairy Godmother

“I'm afraid if I shared your wine, I might catch this awful disease you appear to have.”

William Richert - Bob Pigeon

“I wouldn't dance with you even if you didn't look like a sabertooth tiger. Bitch!”

Mario Joyner - Tom McNeal

“You can flush your manhood down the toilet.”

Rick Zumwalt - Joshua