“- Sherlock Holmes: This man pervades Europe like a plague, yet no one has heard of him. That's what puts him on the pinnacle in the records of crime.
- Doctor Watson: What's he do?
- Sherlock Holmes: Everything and nothing. In his whole diabolical career, the police have never been able to pin anything on him.”
Basil Rathbone - Sherlock Holmes
Nigel Bruce - Doctor Watson

“- MIB Customs Agent: Any fruit or vegetables?
- Serleena: Yeah, two heads of cabbage.”

Peter Spruyt - MIB Customs Agent
Lara Flynn Boyle - Serleena

“She do hair, baby sit and sell dope out the same house: police don't know when to kick the door in.”
Mike Epps - Day-Day

“The freak with the top hat is leaving with the basketball.”
Stacy Keach - The Narcs: Sergeant Stedenko

“- Tommy Cotter: This I guarantee: that fuckin' Randolph has seen his last rainbow. We're going to find him, cut off his balls, and shove 'em up his ass.
- Sheldon Mopes: Well, maybe we should leave that for the cops, Tommy.
- Roy: Cops won't do the ball thing, it's against procedure.”

Pam Ferris - Tommy Cotter
Edward Norton - Sheldon Mopes
Bruce McFee - Roy