“- Dr. Reston: Do you have a lot of stress at work?
- Frankie Paige: I cut hair.”
Ann Cusack - Dr. Reston
Patricia Arquette - Frankie Paige

“- Lance: Come on, man, you got nothing better to do than hassle long-hairs?
- Officer Bob Falfa: That's my life, friend. I love my work.”
John Lansing - Lance
Harrison Ford - Officer Bob Falfa

“- Emily Walburn: Apparently he had a little accident.
- Maj. Benson Payne: Apparently he pissed all over the front of his pants.
- Emily Walburn: Well maybe that's because he's six.
- Maj. Benson Payne: Because he's six? Woman, when I was six years old I had a full time job.”
Karyn Parsons - Emily Walburn
Damon Wayans - Maj. Benson Payne

- Alison Bradbury: You'll never believe what I wanted to be when I was six.
- Walter "Gib" Gibson: A classics professor?
Daphne Zuniga - Alison Bradbury
John Cusack - Walter "Gib" Gibson

“I'm not afraid of you. I told Helen you wouldn't be so ugly if you cut your hair.”
Tina Majorino - Enola