“- Helen Lacey: Oh, Victor, please don't do anything dangerous!
- Victor Shakapopulis: Don't worry. I know how to handle tits.”
Heather MacRae - Helen Lacey
Woody Allen - Victor

“Hello. Your tits are as beautiful as Mt. Fuji. Would you mind if I rubbed my face in them?”

James Saito - Kendo

“I think elevators are very sexual. Don't you? I have this fantasy that I'm in an elevator, all alone with this man, that I've never met before in my life. And he just keeps staring at me. All of the sudden, he reaches out and he touches my breasts.”

Catherine Hicks - Jane Mortimer

“Plant a good seed and you will joyfully gather fruit.”
Shirley MacLaine - Mary Kay

- Joe Hallenbeck: What is that?
- Jimmy Dix: It's a bomb.
- Joe Hallenbeck: It doesn't look like a bomb, it looks like an apple with lines comin' out of it. They're gonna say "Don't open the briefcase, it's full of fresh fruit!".

Bruce Willis - Joe Hallenbeck
Damon Wayans - Jimmy Dix