“- Harriet Michaels: What do you look for in a woman you date?
- Charlie Mackenzie: Well, I know everyone always says sense of humor, but I'd really have to go with breast size.”
Nancy Travis - Harriet Michaels
Mike Myers - Charlie Mackenzie

“- Robert 'Boogie' Sheftell: That's what you get for going out with 11th graders. Her brains aren't developed yet.
- Timothy Fenwick Jr.: Yeah, but her tits were. So...
- Robert 'Boogie' Sheftell: Falsies.
- Timothy Fenwick Jr.: Were they?
- Robert 'Boogie' Sheftell: First hand info.”
Mickey Rourke - Robert 'Boogie' Sheftell
Kevin Bacon - Timothy Fenwick Jr.

“I'm a normal, red-blooded American man. I like to look at naked women. I love breasts; the bigger, the better. Nipples like udders, nipples like saucers, big pale rosy-brown nipples. Little bitty baby nipples. Real or fake, what's the difference? I like tits. Who's kidding who? Tits are great!”
Greg Kinnear - Bob Crane

“- Walt Tenor: What's a three-letter word for man's best friend?
- April Mercedes: Tit?”
Greg Kinnear - Walt Tenor
Eva Mendes - April Mercedes

“If you think a 401k is your mother-in-law's bra size, you might be a redneck.”
Jeff Foxworthy - Jeff Foxworthy