“- Harry Dunne: I hate when women do that. She wanted to see you again! And now no? Now... wait a minute! Wait! She must have meant ten o' clock at night!
- Lloyd Christmas: Do you think?
- Harry Dunne: Why would she have you meet her in a bar at ten in the morning?
- Lloyd Christmas: I just figured she was a raging alcoholic.”

Jeff Daniels - Harry Dunne
Jim Carrey - Lloyd Christmas

“- Anna Held: You should have at least closed the door.
- Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: Wait! Anna! Anna, please don't misjudge me. I couldn't help it. She's... she's drunk.”

Luise Rainer - Anna Held
William Powell - Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.

“- Kay Bentley: She's an old schoolmate of mine from grammar school.
- Michael Shayne: I haven't seen any old girls.
- Kay Bentley: She's not old - about my age.
- Michael Shayne: And still going to grammar school? She's a little mentally round-shouldered!”
Lynn Bari - Kay Bentley
Lloyd Nolan - Michael Shayne

“- Gail Richards: Good night.
- Lillian - the Housekeeper: I hope you rest in peace.
- Gail Richards: Thank you. [turns to Ann] Isn't that what they write on tombstones?”
Joan Blondell - Gail Richards
Rafaela Ottiano - Lillian - the Housekeeper

- "Doc": Did you ever go to school, stupid?
- "Wishy": Yeah and I came out the same way.
Bud Abbott - "Doc"
Lou Costello - "Wishy"