“- Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau: We have not been properly introduced. You of course know who I am.
- Sergeant Clifton Sleigh: Sergeant Sleigh.
- Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau: No, I am not Sergeant Sleigh.
- Sergeant Clifton Sleigh: No, I am Sergeant Sleigh.
- Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau: Oh yes! Now we are getting somewhere.”
Sir Roger Moore - Clouseau
Ted Wass - Sergeant Clifton Sleigh

“- Mike: Did I ever tell you my name? My name is Mike.
- Margaret Ford: Glad to meet you.
- Mike: Well, I'm glad to meet you, too.
- Margaret Ford: I have a proposition for you.
- Mike: And what's your name?”
Joe Mantegna - Mike
Lindsay Crouse - Margaret Ford

- Mabel Stanley: Roger I love it.
- Frederic: No, Frederic without a "k".
- Mabel Stanley: Mabel, also without a "k". God, we have so much in common.
Kristy McNichol - Mabel Stanley

“- Mary Jane: Who are you?
- Spider-Man: You know who I am.
- Mary Jane: I do?
- Spider-Man: Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.”
Kirsten Dunst - Mary Jane Watson
Tobey Maguire - Spider-Man

“- Sofie Crisp: Hello Mother. I want you to meet Dr. Mumford.
- Mrs. Crisp: Mumford? Like the town?”
Hope Davis - Sofie Crisp
Dana Ivey - Mrs. Crisp