“- Tommy: Did you hear I finally graduated?
- Richard: Yeah, and just a shade under a decade too. All right.
- Tommy: You know a lot of people go to college for seven years.
- Richard: I know, they're called doctors.”
Chris Farley - Tommy
David Spade - Richard

“Look, we all know home-ec is a joke, no offense, it's just that everyone takes this class to get an A, and it's bullshit, and I'm sorry. I'm not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel.”

Jonah Hill - Seth

“Well, I'm glad I ain't scared to be lazy.”
Robert Duvall - Augustus 'Gus' McCrae

“- Pig Pen: So, are you like a crippled guy?
- Barry: No, I'm just a really lazy guy!”
Derek Hamilton - Pig Pen
Todd Richards - Barry

“Which is the most universal human characteristic: fear or laziness?”
Louis Mackey - Louis Mackey