“Eagle Eyes. Nine enhanced-vision modes. Every little boy's dream: the penetrator mode.”

Michael Roof - Toby Lee Shavers

“- George Clark: Did you really beat a suspect unconscious with a dead cat?
- Orin Boyd: No. The cat wasn't dead.”
Isaiah Washington - George Clark
Steven Seagal - Orin Boyd

“- Artemus Gordon: My auxiliary tool kit, I forgot all about it. It must have fallen out of my pocket.
- James West: Your pocket? Why wasn't it on some spring-loaded contraption that shoots out your ass?
- Artemus Gordon: That's the first place Loveless would have looked.”
Kevin Kline - Artemus Gordon
Will Smith - James West

“- Suzy: I toasted it just the way you like.
- Jimmy Flaherty: How'd you do that? There's no toaster around here.
- Suzy: I used my curling iron.”

Connie Perry - Suzy
Dan Aykroyd - Jimmy Flaherty

“What a lemon! One minute it's running like a top, and the next it's broken down on the side of the road. And I can't fix a car like this, because I don't have the tools! And even if I did have the tools I don't know if I could fix a car like this!”

Owen Wilson - Dignan