“- Mitchell Goosen: [to Jack] Chill Bra.
- Augie: Did he just call you a piece of underwear?”
Shane McDermott - Mitchell Goosen
Jack Black - Augie

“- Rick Sandford: I'd lend you my shirt, but I'm afraid it might rip.
- Troy Wedberg: That's because it's cheap... like your mother.”
James Van Der Beek - Rick Sandford
Chris Owen - Troy Wedberg

“You'll dress only in attire specially sanctioned by MiB special services. You'll conform to the identity we give you, eat where we tell you, live where we tell you. From now on you'll have no identifying marks of any kind. You'll not stand out in any way. Your entire image is crafted to leave no lasting memory with anyone you encounter.”

Rip Torn - Zed

“Mr. Grisham, tragically, was born without a personality.”
John Marwood Cleese - Donald P. Sinclair

“Damn girl... I didn't know Nike made dresses.”
Gabrielle Union - Shawnee