- Orville "Turkey" Jackson: We're going to get married on... when is the big day, Dream Thing?
- Princess Shalmar: When the moon, in its last quarter, silvers the blossoms of the almond tree. That's Tuesday night, about nine.
Bob Hope - Orville "Turkey" Jackson
Dorothy Lamour - Princess Shalmar

- Peter: Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday and you're not feeling real well, does anyone ever say to you, "Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays?".
- Lawrence: No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man.
Ron Livingston - Peter
Diedrich Bader - Lawrence

“- Holly Golightly: Thursday! It can't be! It's too gruesome!
- Paul Varjak: What's so gruesome about Thursday?
- Holly Golightly: Nothing, except I can never remember when it's coming up.”
Audrey Hepburn - Holly Golightly
George Peppard - Paul Varjak

“- Billy Madison: Man, why did I have so many drinks? I can't remember! What's today?
- Frank: October?
- Billy Madison: It's Nudie Magazine Day!!”
Adam Sandler - Billy Madison
Norm MacDonald - Frank

I am so tired by the way you people talk. You know, I mean, "one day at a time". What is that? I mean, like two, three days at a time is an option?
Sandra Bullock - Gwen Cummings