“I can't believe I'm fucking a big purple elephant!”
Selma Blair - Jane Burns

“- Charlie Gordon: I'm waiting for my sexual prime.
- Liz LaBreche: And just when do you think that's gonna happen?”
Walter Matthau - Charlie Gordon
Dyan Cannon - Liz LaBreche

“I don't know what's worse, church or jail?”
Mary Stuart Masterson - Idgie Threadgoode

“- Albin Grau: What is the most wondrous thing you ever saw?
- Henrik Galeen: I once saw Greta Schroeder naked.
- Albin Grau: That beats ectoplasm!”
Udo Kier - Albin Grau

- James: It's like he said: Marvelous things will happen.
- Glowworm: Did he say, "Marvelous pigs in satin"?
- Grasshopper: No, dear lady.

Paul Terry - James
Miriam Margolyes - Glowworm
Simon Callow - Grasshopper