“- Buck Russell: How many times a day does the dog eat?
- Cindy Russell: How many times do you think?
- Buck Russell: I don't know, four or five.
- Cindy Russell: He eats once a day.”
John Candy - Buck Russell
Elaine Bromka - Cindy Russell

“- John Billings: I say we drink the wine, eat the dogs, and use the paper for musket wading.
- Reverend Oliver: [alarmed] Eat the dogs?
- Benjamin Martin: [going along with John Billings' joke] A dog is a fine meal.”
Leon Rippy - John Billings
Rene Auberjonois - Reverend Oliver
Mel Gibson - Benjamin Martin

“- Rocco Melonchek: What a charming little animal.
- Lillian Oglethorpe: Do you know dogs, Mister Melonchek?
- Rocco Melonchek: Know dogs? I used to be a chef in a Korean restaurant!”

Mel Smith - Rocco Melonchek
Nancy Marchand - Lillian Oglethorpe

“- Colt: I'm Colt because I'm fast, he's Rocky because he's solid and he's Tum Tum because he'll eat anything.
- Tum Tum: I won't eat dog poop.”
Max Elliott Slade - Colt
Chad Power - Tum Tum

“What is it? What? What? If you're hungry, finish the hamburgers! Eat the buns! Eat the buns! You're not thirsty, you're not touching the water, the orange juice, cranapple - what am I supposed to do? Make you a Margarita?”

Tom Hanks - Scott Turner