“- Ritchie Valens: Bob. Where's mom's new dress?
- Bob Morales: What new dress?
- Ritchie Valens: The one I asked you to buy her for Christmas.
- Bob Morales: Hey, you're the asshole with all the money, why don't you buy it yourself!”
Lou Diamond Phillips - Ritchie Valens
Esai Morales - Bob Morales

“- Matty Banks: Can I put Cameron back on the list if he promises not to eat?
- George Banks: You know, that's not a badidea. Who else can we ask not to eat? My parents and your mother.
- Annie Banks: Why don't we just charge people? That way we can make money on the wedding?”
Kieran Culkin - Matty Banks
Steve Martin - George Banks
Kimberly Williams-Paisley - Annie Banks

“- Lady Holiday: Give Stanley a tip, Nicky.
- Nicky Holiday: For complimenting you on your necklace?
- Lady Holiday: No, because it's customary.
- Nicky Holiday: I haven't any change.
- Lady Holiday: Then give him something bigger.
- Nicky Holiday: Bigger? I left my wallet at home.
- Lady Holiday: You left your wallet in college.”

Diana Rigg - Lady Holiday
Charles Grodin - Nicky Holiday

“The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God.”
Shirley MacLaine - Ouiser Boudreaux

“If you're gonna treat me like a whore, you're gonna pay me like a whore.”
Kelly LeBrock - Donnie