I had to go to Greek school, where I learned valuable lessons such as, "If Nick has one goat and Maria has nine, how soon will they marry?"
Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos

“Nice Greek girls who don't find a husband, work in the family restaurant. So here I am, day after day, year after year, thirty and way past my expiration date.”
Nia Vardalos - Toula Portokalos

“I think maybe I should mention before you make any faux pas here, that we have a tradition in this family, we don't kill other people.”
Don McKellar - Patrick Wheeler

“Did you know my great-great-grandpappy fought the measles? Yup, there's been a Jones on the force ever since my ancestors came over on the umbilical cord.”
Chris Rock - Osmosis Jones

“- Mrs. Suzanna Dukesbury: We must have regard for certain conventions.
- J. Cheever Loophole: One guy isn't enough. She's gotta have a convention.”
Margaret Dumont - Mrs. Suzanna Dukesbury
Groucho Marx - J. Cheever Loophole