“A husband is what's left of a sweetheart after the nerve has been killed.”

Lou Costello - Costello

“- Evelyn Carnahan: Patience is a virtue.
- Rick O'Connell: Not right now, it isn't.”
Rachel Weisz - Evelyn Carnahan
Brendan Fraser - Rick O'Connell

- Guy Patterson: Hey, Uncle Bob, when are we gonna get these records?
- Uncle Bob: Ah... "Luke 21:19".
- T. B. Player: "And your patience possess ye your souls".
Tom Everett Scott - Guy Patterson
Chris Isaak - Uncle Bob
Ethan Embry - T. B. Player

“- Somerset: This guy's methodical, exacting, and worst of all, patient.
- Mills: He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda!”
Morgan Freeman - Somerset
Brad Pitt - Mills

“Get lost, Axel. I'm busy. I've had more than enough of you for one night.”
Lisa Freeman - Nurse Morgan