“- Lucille Botrelle: The damage to the spinal column's not yet been determined. But his breathing's stabilized and his liver's been saved.
- Lenny Magrath: That's good news.
- Lucille Botrelle: None of this is good news Lennie Magrath! It's all a grueling nightmare and you mark my word those resposible will pay dearly!”

Jean Willard - Lucille Botrelle
Diane Keaton - Lenny Magrath

“Answer my questions, before you start losing appendages.”

Paulina Porizkova - Dallas

“- Page Conners: Just give it to me, or would you rather have my heel up your ass?
- Jack Withrowe: Who told you I'm into that?”

Jennifer Love Hewitt - Page Conners
Jason Lee - Jack Withrowe

“- Lewis Farrell: You must be wondering who I am?
- Kim: Someone who's making Lisa as happy as I've ever seen her.
- Lewis Farrell: But?
- Kim: But, if you hurt her, I'll kill you.”
Christian Slater - Lewis Farrell
Pamela Adlon - Kim

“I'm gonna dig so many new holes in you, you're gonna look like a salt shaker!”

Dan Aykroyd - Judge Alvin 'J.P' Valkenheiser