“- Serendipity: I'm responsible for nineteen of the twenty top-grossing films of all time.
- Bethany: Nineteen?
- Serendipity: Yeah, the one about the kid, by himself in his house, burglars trying to get in and he fights them off? I had nothing to do with that one. Somebody sold their soul to Satan to get the grosses up on that piece of shit.”
Salma Hayek - Serendipity
Linda Fiorentino - Bethany

“- Rose Muldoon: I had a Pollock friend once. She was incredibly stupid...
- Danny Muldoon: Don't do this, Ma.
- Rose Muldoon: ... Julie Kapowski. She was the stupidest woman that I ever knew. She believed that black cows... black cows squirted chocolate milk!”
Maureen O'Hara - Rose Muldoon
John Candy - Danny Muldoon

“I want a girl who's smart, a girl who can teach me things. I hate stupid women. You know why? You marry a stupid girl, you have stupid kids. You don't believe me? Follow a stupid kid home and see if somebody stupid don't answer the door.”
Jerome Benton - Tricky

“Do you know why she’s still alive? Because zombies eat brains, and she ain’t got any!”

Woody Harrelson - Tallahassee

“She's stupid enough not to be a menace, good-looking enough to be decorative; she gets drunk with economical speed...”

John Travolta - Terl