“No kiss, Nick. I'm a married woman with a Governor inside.”
Goldie Hawn - Glenda Parks

“- John Beckwith: How long have you and the Secretary been married?
- Kathleen Cleary: 30 years next April.
- John Beckwith: That's beautiful.
- Kathleen Cleary: Yeah. And we were faithful for two of them.”
Owen Wilson - John Beckwith
Jane Seymour - Kathleen Cleary

“- Fletcher Reede: I was hoping after being married to me you'd have no more strength left.
- Audrey Reede: Well, you have to remember that when we were married, I wasn't having sex nearly as often as you were.”
Jim Carrey - Fletcher Reede
Maura Tierney - Audrey Reede

“- Mortdecai: Oh, my darling, I tried desperately to be unfaithful to you, I really did. But I just couldn't do it.
- Johanna: It's a terrible moment when you finding yourself falling in love with your own spouse, isn't it?
- Mortdecai: Now that is the look that softens every bone in my body, except one”
Johnny Depp - Mortdecai
Gwyneth Paltrow - Johanna

“Are you married or happy?”

Moe Howard - Moe